Three essential ingredients in healing from trauma are:
1. Establishing a safety zone
2. Remembering and mourning
3. Reconnecting with ordinary life and making meaning of the trauma
After Howard’s death, I stayed very busy, moved around a great deal and devoted my life to the care of my daughter. Little did I know that these were my coping mechanisms to avoid the feelings that were frozen inside of me.
My life after Howard’s death was punctuated with one loss after another. At the age of 45, I suffered one loss too many and fell into severe depression. My choices were to do the grief work or end my life. Because I had a daughter I chose to do the grief work.
In December 1999 when I held my published book in my hand, I felt that I had completed the second aspect of recovering from trauma, “remembering, and mourning.”
For the past 10 years I’ve attempted to reconnect with ordinary life and “make meaning of the trauma.” I welcome opportunities to share my story through public speaking, leading workshops and facilitating others in reconciling loss.
Having lived over ½ of my life in the first stage of grief, “Shock & Denial”, is it any wonder I’m committed to supporting others in grieving sooner rather than later?
I welcome your calls and inquiries regarding my work. Feel free to contact me by calling 707-578-4226 or email me at the address below. Denied grief doesn’t go away, it just goes underground.
Grief Denied: A Vietnam Widow's Story, is
