Three essential ingredients in healing from trauma are:
1. Establishing a safety zone
2. Remembering and mourning
3. Reconnecting with ordinary life and making meaning of the trauma
After Howard’s death, I stayed very busy, moved around a great deal and devoted my life to the care of my daughter. Little did I know that these were my coping mechanisms to avoid the feelings that were frozen inside of me.
My life after Howard’s death was punctuated with one loss after another. At the age of 45, I suffered one loss too many and fell into severe depression. My choices were to do the grief work or end my life. Because I had a daughter I chose to do the grief work.
In December 1999 when I held my published book in my hand, I felt that I had completed the second aspect of recovering from trauma, “remembering, and mourning.”
For the past 15 years I’ve attempted to reconnect with ordinary life and “make meaning of the trauma.” I welcome opportunities to share my story through public speaking, leading workshops and facilitating others in reconciling loss.
Having lived over ½ of my life in the first stage of grief, “Shock & Denial”, is it any wonder I’m committed to supporting others in grieving sooner rather than later?
I welcome your calls and inquiries regarding my work. Feel free to contact me by calling 707-578-4226 or email me at the address below. Denied grief doesn’t go away, it just goes underground.
Grief Denied: A Vietnam Widow's Story, is
available in soft cover for $14.95 , plus $3.00 shipping/handling (+$1.00 S/H for each additional book). Shipping is by Media Mail. (California residents add $0.82 sales tax per book.)
"Pauline is a wise-woman possessing a refreshing combination of compassion, humor and no-nonsense frankness. When she told me that I needed to be witnessed in my grief, it resonated deeply. She showed me how to “turn around and face the grief” of losing my father at 23. She helped me to touch this ancient pain, examine it, express it and release it. She has helped me to acknowledge the multiple losses from that time in my life and to see the effects of those losses on my adult experience. As I step into a life of greater confidence, trust and abundance, I know that I am forever changed by my summer of grieving with Pauline."